Granted, my mental catalogue of masturbation scenes isn't exhaustive, but the aggressive nature alone speaks for itself. This eventually leads to the most violent masturbation scene I've ever seen. He imagines the mermaid throughout the film, fantasizing about her and what she might look like. Lindsay Lohan auditioned for True Blood.Early on in the film, Pattinson's character finds a mermaid figurine in his bed, nestled in a hole about midway down his mattress.

Quick Review: Murder Loves Killers Too (2009) The 2nd season of True Blood comes to a close. Horror Hotties: Some more of Maria Ozawa!!! Running Commentary Review: Attack Girls Swim Team. Horror Hotties: A few more of Amber Heard. Quick Review: The Haunted World of El Superbeasto.

Besides, it would spoil too much.Ĭhapter Four-The Three Beggars: She is nuts, He pays the price, and She begs He to hold her because. Then it talks.Īnd you thought I was being a smart ass! Milk Duds!Ĭhapter Three- Despair: I have no words for the nastiness that unfolds in this chapter. Then it starts to rain Milk Duds, and He finds the creepiest fox in the world ripping itself to shreds. Jenkins.) They run around a field barefoot, and rocks melt.

Ain't nobody better say nothing bad bout Mrs. Jenkins' old ass house down the way (I love me some Mrs. When they finally arrive at Eden, it looks less like paradise and more like Mrs. They then begin a pilgrimage of healing to their cabin in the woods, Eden, where She takes a nap, and He sees a deer with a dead baby deer fetus sticking out of its ass.Ĭhapter Two- Pain: They continue walking towards Eden, cross a bridge, and find a tree with a vagina. He runs her through makeshift lamaze classes, bangs her head off of toilet bowls, and has sex with her. This movie is going to be messed up.Ĭhapter One- Grief: She is understandably distraught over the death of their son, and since He is a therapist, He decides to treat her. He and She move to the bedroom to continue their slo-mo scrumping, and in the meantime their toddler jumps out of his crib, and then out of the window. Prologue: He's penis slides in and out of She's vagina, in slow-motion during a shower opera, and we see it all. *Note- The characters in this movie are named He and She.

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